I am actually we (the Longus Coli and Longus Capitus, hope you took Latin), but for this you can just say me. I also go by DNF, but not PNF, which is a whole other blog post. I am supposed to be a somewhat stable force in Mike’s neck, making sure other muscles do their jobs, mostly the global muscles like the upper traps, sternocleidomastoid and levator scapula, and a couple other big words that make me sound smart.
When I notice that some of my buddies I just mentioned want to take over my job (stabilizing the neck) I love to sit back and take it easy. The only drawback to this is I get weak. I start to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger now rather than before. I get a little weak while the UT, SCM, and LS start to get tight so Mike’s neck is nice and supported. Obviously when these guys get tight they can’t function right because they are terrible multi-taskers. This leads Mike to have all sorts of trouble. Tight upper traps, headaches, TMJ, shoulder dysfunctions, swallowing problems, rounded shoulders, back pain, even calf and foot pain (seriously) are just a few of the ailments.
The big problem is that when I take it easy, I’m very stubborn when I am asked to get back to work. I will resist all day. When Mike sits or stands I am going to want to take it easy, like I said earlier; I. am. LAZY! Then when Mike thinks I’m getting back to work I pull an A-ROD and try to cheat (I am referring to this picture and not the steroids, because even though it hurts me to say this being a Red Sox fan, at least he admitted to it. You see Tiger, sometimes the truth DOES set you free.) It’s usually hard for Mike to tell if I am working because I don’t create a lot of commotion. Also, it’s quite easy for my buddy the SCMs to do the work for me (he’ll do anything for a couple bucks, and I mean anything).
So chances are if you are reading this, you’re sitting, or should I say slouching at a computer letting YOUR deep neck flexors off easy. Just remember when your neck, back, and jaw hurt that I didn’t warn you to sit up straight and pull your head back over your shoulders.
I am Mike’s Deep Neck Flexors, and I am lazy.