Review: Captain Morgan, The Rum Pirate, Lends A Knee To Hip Dislocation


The first thing I thought after reading this was that I should put it into the educainment section of my blog. Then I had a few drinks compiled with some Captain and thought better of it. How could I pass up the opportunity to write about such a great topic while also enjoying a few drinks with a college favorite?

I used to work in an only orthopedic hospital, comprised of mainly, knee, shoulder, and hip replacements. What a fricken trip this was. Most of my memories are of the male patients smoking cigarrettes, or flashing nurses, and myself pounding Monster energy drinks infused with powder energy drink mix from the local grocery store (insert department head sneer when I passed said energy drink through my nose onto the PT department wall). Let me tell you, precautions are shoved up your ass so far in these types of hospitals it isn’t even funny. Every doctor has their own precautions too (this is a small topic of contention between PTs and MDs that doesn’t get much attention). One might say no adduction, external rotation, and flexion of the hip, while the next surgeon with the same surgery will have no precautions. What a mess. So let me tell you, I am so glad at least Captain Morgan can lend a hand when it comes to putting these dislocated hips back in their place! I thought he was only good for making me want to dislocate my hip while leaning over a toilet…. nevermind.

After reading this article, does anyone else find it weird that a medical Doctor saw a significant connection between his hospital’s practices and a mythical imbibing figure? I usually look to fairy tails and comic books for my rehabilitation inspiration and ideas. You know Winnie the Pooh kinda shit (I dont even know what that means. like I said, I’ve got a little Captain in me).

“One day, while watching a Captain Morgan’s commercial, it just struck me that that’s the position we do,” says Gregory Hendey, a professor of clinical emergency medicine at the University of California, San Francisco.

That’s what she said.

“Hip dislocation happens when the head of the thighbone — the femur — slips out of its socket in the hipbone. Car accidents are the most common cause, according to the American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons. People with hip replacements are also prone to them, as are athletes who play high contact sports like football.”

I had one patient on my shift at this hospital dislocate their hip (thankfully not while I was working with them), and they said it was even more painful than the pain prior to their surgery. When this happens, these patients might find themselves back on the surgeons table, unless this Captain Maneuver is attempted. Even though this is not a common occurrence, I am really glad that the good ole’ Captain is making it happen when it comes to educating Doctors on a new method of reducing these hip dislocations.

“Other techniques for fixing hip dislocations can be precarious. Consider the Allis Maneuver, which requires the doctor to straddle the patient on a gurney, then bend the affected leg 90 degrees, while keeping the other leg down. The doctor then lifts the leg and applies force to the hip, popping the leg bone back into the hip socket. Doctors can injure their backs or fall off the gurney, the study said.”

Which page of the Karma Sutra can I find this on? When this Allis maneuver or the Captain Maneuver are the options I gotta say let’s take a shot and hope for the best. Yes, pun intended.

“Once they start using the Captain, they never go back,” he says.

I once had a room-mate in college that uttered these exact words before blacking out.

I am glad that our medical Doctors continue to look for alternate techniques to advance the medical profession, but do we really need to look to fictional alcoholic cartoons for ideas? Thank you NPR for keeping health-care light, and making people slightly more interested in orthopedics! See you at the bar.

Always Evolve,

Mike

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